The
art of listening is a beautiful means for advancing a spiritual practice. Consider that we communicate every day,
some of us from the moment we open our eyes in the morning until we retire at
the end of the day. Becoming aware
of how we listen and speak to others can provide many moments of mindful
practice every day. It has been said
that we are creating our world with every word we speak.
There
are different circumstances, reactions or responses that may arise in any given
conversation. A good question I
have found to ask myself is ‘how well am I listening to the person speaking to
me?” If I find that I am not
listening deeply, I can refocus my attention in the moment and make a mental
note for personal reflection later to find out what was distracting me, or not
allowing me to be present and attentive to whoever was speaking at the time.
It
can be powerfully revealing to become aware of the thoughts going on in our
head while we are listening to someone else. We often overlook or disregard our inner commentary that can
be disruptive to our engagement with what is being spoken and the one speaking. We may become more involved with the
conversation running in our own mind than in hearing what the other person has
to say.
How
about those times when agitation rushes in triggered by something being said
that conflicts with our opinion? This
is what we might call a “charge” or more appropriately a “trigger”. A trigger may kick off a whole new inner
dialog of judgmental thoughts and criticisms about the subject matter and the
individual sharing it. When we
find ourselves caught in this predicament the discomfort we experience is
usually the result of a painful circumstance from our past that is buried deep
in the unconscious mind. The pain
of the incident is still with us even if we have no conscious memory of its
occurrence.
Here
again we find rich soil for personal contemplation that can lead us to amazing
new understandings and beneficial insights. Every trigger and charge stems from
an earlier life incident that we were not willing or able to experience fully. It may have been too scary or too
painful or pass through us too quickly to give our attention to it. It may even
have come to us from an opinion or belief structure that our parents held,
perhaps passed on to them from their parents and on through the lineage.
Every
charge and every trigger allows us to uncover some aspect of an unresolved
experience, thus freeing it and ourselves to move forward to a higher
expression of life. We can do this
by bringing our attention to the emotion that preceded the onslaught of
negative commentary. The commentary is a distraction; a redirection the mind
uses to protect us from experiencing the pain. At the time of the incident
protection may have been a good thing.
However, the healing comes when we are able to allow ourselves to see
and to feel what is there.
I
find it quite interesting that every aspect of daily life provides an
opportunity to grow spiritually. It
can easily be said that spiritual growth excels as we become more and more aware
of what is happening inside and around us in every moment. In fact, awareness defines our entire
journey of awakening. It’s quite
simple, but not always easy.
Fortunately we are living at a time when spirituality is
blossoming. There are many
beautiful souls willing to assist us in learning how to heal and awaken to a
brighter expression of life and living.
In
the long run, embracing the art of listening is an excellent way to improve,
repair, or begin good relationships with those we care for. Listening wholeheartedly to our self
and to our friends, family members and partners can save hours and years of
misunderstanding and hurt feelings.
We can learn to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, to listen
deeply with a compassionate ear, and to become aware of what is really going on
beneath the surface. Our closest
relationships are usually the ones that offer the greatest learning and growth
if we pay attention.
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